The Graduate

Working high school gradation parties are supposed to be fun, not a time for the father of the graduate to hit on his daughter's hot, jail bait friends. Keep that in mind, Mr. *******.

Chicago, IL

Higher Standards

I just found porn on my Dad's computer. Sadly, it's better than what I look at.

Cleveland Heights, OH

Skin Tight

Your mom loved to comment on the speed skaters outfits. Especially about how she can see their dicks. Priceless.

Bloomfield Hills, MI

Bad, Bad Thoughts

You: "Do you ever wonder what happened the night your Mom and Dad made you?"

Never. Jesus. So wrong.

Chicago, IL

Just Plain Awkward

I walked in on your Dad peeing. He was sitting down.

Aurora, IL

Presents from Dad

My friend's Dad: "I refuse to buy you any more Christmas presents. The last three years have all been bras and thongs your Mom conned me into buying because they said there were for her. I finally found out I was buying them for my daughter."

Grand Rapids, MI

Mom

I know they're married, but my Mom should not be talking to me like I'm her sorority sister. She was talking to me about my Dad and just said "mmm, he looked so hot... You have NO IDEA, (name)." I'm so glad I moved out of that house of sin.

Bloomfield Hills, MI

Cell Phone Snoop

I was looking for my cell phone on the kitchen counter where my Mom just set down all the bags she brought in from shopping. I started looking through the bags thinking my phone somehow slipped in one of them when I found a box of condoms my Mom just bought. Fuck that phone.

Chicago, IL

MILF

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Peeping Dad

You and I were watching TV on the couch while your Dad was asleep in a chair next to us. Right after we moved closer to each other, I looked over and he hadn't moved an inch, but had one eye open just staring at me. I can't tell you how that image has been burned into my memory. I'm still scared he's watching me at this very moment.

Bloomfield Hills, MI