Jersey Bro

Never refer to yourself as "The Situation's Brother" ever again--you already look like a tool, naming yourself doesn't help.

Chicago, IL

Shot Caller

I can always appreciate a guy buying me a shot. But just because it's a blow job shot doesn't mean I'm going to blow you. Nice try.

Chicago, IL

Snookie Lookin'

You tried running your fat sausage fingers through my hair and you looked like Snookie got hit by a bus. There's no way I'm ever going to buy you a drink.

Pontiac, MI

All The Single People

Guy at Enclave: "Baby, you know the only way you and I will be single tonight is when we get together and become one." You are the lamest greaseball on the planet.

Chicago, IL

Valentine's Day Friend

You sat next to me at the bar while I ordered a drink and offered to be my valentine. When I said no, you then just asked me if I wanted to fuck. Happy Valentine's Day to me.

Chicago, IL

Tool At Big City Tap

Seriously? A quote from 'American Pie'? You: "They call me 'Nova...as in Casanova..." I'm beyond words.

Chicago, IL

"Joey Greco Is My Uncle"

Words of wisdom next time you're at a bar: don't try to pick me up by talking about "Cheaters." I'm supposed to be impressed your uncle is the host? Nice try.

Toledo, OH

Bret Michaels Wanna-Be

Great pick-up line, bro: "You ever seen 'Daisy of Love'? Yeah, my buddy was on that." Hearing you try so hard was the highlight of my commute.

Chicago, IL

Piano (Wo)Man

Really? You play piano? Yeah, I get the picture. You don't have to tell me that your "good with your hands." Ray Charles wouldn't even hook up with you.

Chicago, IL

Asian Fever

You looked like Bam Bam Bigelow from the WWF and tried to pick up my friend by saying she was like "your own little China doll."

Chicago, IL