Bus Eavesdropping

I heard you talking about me and my friends on the bus to class. I had my headphones in and I know you knew I was there too cause I heard you say you shouldn't talk too loud or I'd hear you. Good thing my iPod was off and I heard every word. You're such a bitch.

Chicago, IL

Shady Puke Boy

You almost threw up on my roommate and then shady bounced. You left your t-shirt and boxers too. Thanks you asshole.

Albion, MI

Gym Confession

I stared you down in the gym and it didn't even phase me in the least. I know we made eye contact, and I guess I got a little weird when I realized what I was actually doing, but honestly I couldn't look away. I'm sorry I'm not sorry.

Chicago, IL

Waiting for the Bus

When the bus pulled up and I could see my reflection in the windows, I saw you staring at me until it pulled away. I couldn't bear to turn around.

Chicago, IL

John Mayer Wanna-be

You talked yourself up so much about playing guitar that I thought you'd shut up if I offered to hear you play. I was stupid and went to your room, and then you proceeded to shut the door and lock it. 1) That is totally unnecessary and creepy. 2) You fucking suck.

San Francisco, CA

Internship Douche

When telling me about the possibility of an internship, don't put your arm around me. You smelled like onions and shit.

Ann Arbor, MI

Pen Chewer

You were going to town on your pen and staring down the girl in front of you. You didn't blink for like 2 minutes and kept swabbing the inside of your cheek with your pen. I wish I didn't watch you for so long. It was so weird, and now I feel like a creep too.

Indianapolis, IN

Weezer

It was just you and me in the elevator for 5 floors, but I can still hear you weezing next to me. It sends chills down my spine.

Chicago, IL

Shoe Tying

I swear it started off as an innocent stare into space, but then when you bent down to tie your shoe I couldn't help notice your thong was showing. I'm sure you could feel my eyes staring at your ass cause when you turned around you looked immediately at me and knew what I was doing. Whoops...but thanks.

Chicago, IL

Apology to My Calculus III Class

I'm sorry for creeping you all out. I didn't know you were watching me pick the lint out of my belly button.

East Lansing, MI

Roommate Getting Weird

I'm just sitting here reading a book, and I can feel you gazing at me. In fact, you are ALWAYS staring at me. It was funny at first, but now its really creepy. You look like you want to tickle me and then rape me. Now I have to do all my studying away from home. Thanks, creep-o.

East Lansing, MI

Tranny Protector

It may have been 2 AM and I may have been in a dress, but that does not give you, a gender unspecified human -- four times my size --the right to pull me into a bear hug as I passed by. You claimed to be protecting me from the guy hollering at me...at least I knew he was male.

Chicago, IL

Stoplight at LSD and Sheridan

You were staring at me every single time I checked my mirrors sitting at the stoplight. You didn't blink. Wtf?

Chicago, IL

Homework Helper

I thought you were trying to help me with my homework until I realized you kept coming over to get a better look down my shirt.

Chicago, IL

Guy by Porta-Potty

You look 40. Telling two college girls to kiss each other and then lingering close by mumbling 'That's hot' outside the porta-potty is unacceptable.

Iowa City, IA

Facebook Creep

You told me you beat off to someone on Facebook, then tried to play it off as a joke. That's not what social networking sites are for.

Guy Playing Basketball

Your nipples are so long you could use them to serve shish-kabobs. I'm nervous to play defense because they might stab my eye. Plus, we're not playing shirts and skins. Please cover your chest swords.

East Lansing, MI

Congrats on the Newborn

Don't show me a picture of your newborn cousin when I can still see your Aunt's legs spread eagle in the background.

Cincinnati, OH

Hospitality?

Thanks for letting me sleep on your bedroom floor. Except when I heard you and your girlfriend hooking up the entire time. What were those noises?

Denver, CO

MSU Porta-Potty

You kept offering to wipe for me while I was waiting in line for the bathroom. I seriously think you meant it.

East Lansing, MI