Girl on the Bus

I guess my punishment for reading your diary over your shoulder as you were writing is you farting mustard gas in my face for the entire ride to class. What the fuck are you eating? Sorry about you failing that test...and let me know how your boyfriend takes the break-up. Same time next week?

Chicago, IL

Party Pooper at Heenan's

There aren't that many girls at the bar in the first place, and then you have to go and scare them off before they even finish their first beer by creeping on them more than I have ever seen. Way to be a team player!

Buffalo, NY

Candid Camera

I saw you take a picture of me on your cell phone in class. And then I found it on my news feed on Facebook.

Chicago, IL

Just Bad

I think you were trying to be seductive while you sang in my ear, but you have the worst goddamn voice I have ever heard. And you spit on me so much too. Seriously, you were awful in every aspect. I don't know why you gave me some weird version of a pouty face when I left you on the dance floor and bolted out the door. Oh, you looked stupid giving that face too.

Ann Arbor, MI

Aww Skeet Skeet

You told me you like to take your computer to different places in our dorm and beat off there because you get bad wireless in your room. What...What the FUCK?!

Chicago, IL

MILF

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Walk-In Invite

I was at a house party last weekend when I walked into a random room and saw you hooking up with one of my friends. You're only response was, "wanna join?" I immediately found the bathroom and puked. How's that for an answer?

Boston, MA

Peeping Dad

You and I were watching TV on the couch while your Dad was asleep in a chair next to us. Right after we moved closer to each other, I looked over and he hadn't moved an inch, but had one eye open just staring at me. I can't tell you how that image has been burned into my memory. I'm still scared he's watching me at this very moment.

Bloomfield Hills, MI

Darcy

I like you're into the whole buddy-buddy neighbor thing, but I'm not cool with you always stumbling into our apartment wasted and uninvited. I came downstairs half-naked and you were just standing there in our kitchen. At least turn the lights on...come on.

Chicago, IL

Shithead at Joe's

First, who shits in a jam-packed bar's bathroom?And second, then proceeds to invite people in to check it out because you didn't want to flush? No, I don't want to see your "best dump ever."

Chicago, IL

Elliptical Girl

I intentionally kept running on the treadmill behind you because you were on the the elliptical in front of me and I couldn't stop looking at your ass. Creepy, yet so motivating.

Kalamazoo, MI

Your Sister's Friends

You called me over to look at a picture of "all your sister's hot friends on Halloween." Of course I came over to check it out and right when I did, you immediately realized your little sister was one of the "hot friends" you were checking out. You promised me not to say anything, but I seriously can't keep that to myself.

Chicago, IL

Airport Screener

Why were you security screening that super old woman? She was like 102 and about to die. You looked so happy smiling and eyeing her as you patted her down. Gross.

Chicago, IL

Friendly Fun?

You were sitting behind me in the van with our friends. I had my arm across the top of the benchseat, and you licked the top of my hand when I wasn't paying attention. I don't care if it was a dare, I'm still scarred.

Gaylord, MI

No Words Can Explain

This day will forever haunt me. I was sitting in class and earnestly trying not to pay attention to anything our professor had to say. I successfully made it through, but as I was about to leave, I glanced over at the wrong moment. As you got up and stretched, your shirt started to rise and I saw that you had "tucked" up your dick and the top was poking out. Our teacher is a 75 year old man and you sit at the front of the room. What is wrong with you???

Omaha, NE

Bar Gambler

So I'm with my family at a bar having a good time, when all of the sudden I look across the way and see you staring at me and my friend. I assume you will look away since it is creepy in itself, but no, you continue to look. All the sudden you head our way, and not only do you say "All I have is one question, are those boobs real?" you then follow up with "YES! I just won 20 bucks." I was right next to my dad, you jackass. Why don't you try the casinos instead of betting on girls bodies.

Blair, NE

Sloppy Girl at Madison

When every other girl dresses up like a slut on Halloween, you certainly thought it'd be a good idea to do the same. Unfortunately for everyone else, we had to look at you the whole night. Some girls just shouldn't pretend to be a Playboy bunny. Trust me, no one wanted to go home with you no matter how much titty you were showing.

Madison, WI

(Wo)Man on Red Line

You were an overweight, under-trimmed mannish woman. Okay, I get the picture -- you don't like to shave your legs, but seriously, I almost puked when you started to play with your leg hair.

Chicago, IL

Halloween Confession

I purposely wore reflective sunglasses so people couldn't see my eyes when I was talking to them. I like it better that way. I can stare ANYWHERE I want, and you don't know the difference.

Chicago, IL

Flasher Outfit

You decided that since your girlfriend was out of town, you would go as a huge creeper. You bought a dildo that was damn near 2 FEET LONG and kept dangling it at people as you walked by. How the hell did you even walk with that thing?

Omaha, NE