Hear Ye, Hear Ye

I was too drunk to even hear what she was saying, but it didn't make it any better when I intentionally told her that I wasn't listening to her but instead staring directly at her boobs.

Chicago, IL

Welp, See Ya Later

I tried not to creep on my manager tonight, but I did. After a few drinks I put my hand on the small of her back to tell her as I was leaving and she immediately grabbed it, moved it in front of her, and gave me the strongest handshake I've ever had in my life. Tomorrow won't be fun.

Royal Oak, MI

Honeymooner

I told you I was married so you kept asking me how my honeymoon was for a half hour and winked at me every time. I got the picture. Just shut the fuck up.

Chicago, IL

Jersey Bro

Never refer to yourself as "The Situation's Brother" ever again--you already look like a tool, naming yourself doesn't help.

Chicago, IL

Humpelstiltskin

There's nothing like trying to teach my dog how to hump especially when I realize my blinds are open and my neighbors are walking by watching me.

Chicago, IL

Young At Heart

My Grandpa asked me if I could buy him the SI Swimsuit edition because he said it made him "excited again." Of course, I had to.

Southgate, FL

Sneak A Peek

We only have one bathroom at work. I walked in on the secretary peeing because the door was cracked a little and I didn't think anyone was in there. I think we're both scarred for life.

Chicago, IL

Sippy Cup

My boss went down in our store basement and brought me back a cup of apple juice. He asked if I wanted any and when I said "no" he then proceeded to set it on my desk and told me to drink it because it had something special in it. I tried not to notice, but he called me out and made me take a sip--it supposedly was laced with mint, but I still don't trust that bastard.

Chicago, IL

Chat Roulette

My friend told me to check out the new website chat roulette which connects you with randoms through web cam. First person I meet was a a hairy penis. Second person I meet was a naked man, third person was an obese man trying to give himself oral.

Thank you Chatroulette.com for providing a place for all the people in The CreepBook a place to hang out in their free time.

Everywhere, World

ps to my friend that said the website was "awesome", put on some clothes and walk away from the web cam.