Slick Roads, Affectionate Lady

You stopped on a yellow light when I was behind you, and I crashed into your car. When we got out to exchange information, you gave me a hug and said "It's going to be alright." I felt like yelling "I NEED AN ADULT!!" just to see what would happen. Thanks for the early morning molest.

Omaha, NE

Qwest Manager

You told us we should treat the credit card slot as if it were a girl and "have a gentle touch." Then you topped it off with: "I will come over if you have troubles. I have a gentle touch. These hands know how to treat a man...trust me." NOT OK! You are a 50 year old lady talking to 8 frat guys. I'll dragon slay somewhere else, thanks.

Omaha, NE

Weird Text

I gave you my phone number because you are a family friend and wanted to do an interview with me sometime. I didn't give it to you so on my anniversary you could text me saying "Happy Anniversary! Easy on the lovin!!!" You're a priest. PLEASE NEVER TEXT ME AGAIN!

Omaha, NE

Drive By Creeping

So as I'm driving home from class last week I just so happen to look over at you when you are looking at me. Not only do you look at me, but you then keep staring and drive the same speed as me. 1st look: You mouth "hi" to me. 2nd look: You blow me a kiss. I laugh at you and look away. 3rd look: You start licking your lips. I start looking for the nearest turn. 4th look: You point to your cock and ask if i want to suck it. I IMMEDIATELY turn down a street so you couldn't follow. Please don't car molest me again.

Omaha, NE

No Words Can Explain

This day will forever haunt me. I was sitting in class and earnestly trying not to pay attention to anything our professor had to say. I successfully made it through, but as I was about to leave, I glanced over at the wrong moment. As you got up and stretched, your shirt started to rise and I saw that you had "tucked" up your dick and the top was poking out. Our teacher is a 75 year old man and you sit at the front of the room. What is wrong with you???

Omaha, NE

Flasher Outfit

You decided that since your girlfriend was out of town, you would go as a huge creeper. You bought a dildo that was damn near 2 FEET LONG and kept dangling it at people as you walked by. How the hell did you even walk with that thing?

Omaha, NE

Dolly

We were simply trying to get a case of beer to drink on a lovely Sunday afternoon when you approached us if we knew how to make a "Salty Dog" in the grocery store. No one knew what the fuck you were talking about, yet you then proceeded to tell us how to make it while adding various remarks about your failed marriages and how your husband ran off with his little "tricky." What the hell kind of people are breeding in Omaha? And no, I don't want to come to the bar in your basement to drink my beer.

Omaha, NE

Creighton Bar Elder

You are 3 years post graduation. You have tried (and failed) at graduate school in TWO countries. So please stop going to the bar near campus and trying to pick up the girls. No one above 21 goes in there anyways, so it makes it even worse.

Omaha, NE

Kid in My Finance Class

You look like a tool when you lean back with your feet up on the desk. And that landing strip on your face doesn't make you look cool, it makes people gag.

Omaha, NE