Friendly Wave

So, I was at the IC yesterday and I saw you stalking my "Book." I don't even know who you are. When you looked at me you smiled at waved.

Chicago, IL

Not So Silent

I thought it was pretty funny to be farting in the library. I also thought that just my buddy could hear them. But when I got up and saw your face staring at me with disgust in the reflection of the window...wow. I apologize, because I have no idea you were 3 ft behind me. You could've moved though, it was going on for at least an hour. Did you enjoy?

East Lansing, MI

Study Buddy #2

No, I don't want to study with you. You must have been staring at me with eagle eyes from across the room to see I was looking at the same textbook you were. And no, it's not funny how we've never met even though we sat near each other in the same class all semester. Kindly leave.

Oxford, OH

Study Buddy

Have you ever talked to a girl before? You could not have been more awkward and creepy if you tried. Asking me to study at your house because: "you know, my roommates are gone and it'll be just you and me and it'll...uhh be just the two of us to really get to know each other and the material, you know?"

I hope you fail the test and at life.

San Francisco, CA

There Goes Santa Claus

Once Santa Claus left the kid's photo-op, I thought it'd be funny to sit in his chair...until I realized I was an unshaven, unclean college kid sitting and watching the kids play under the Christmas tree. I had to stop short of offering them the box of leftover candy canes. Merry Christmas, little ones.

Chicago, IL

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Kleenex Boy

Not only do you blow your nose like a trumpet, but you proceed to look at the snot in the Kleenex afterward. I sit behind you and it's inevitable that everyone sees your own treasured mucus collection. It's disgusting, and that's why no one wants to be your partner in anything.

Chicago, IL

MGMT Stare

Every time I turn my head, you are staring at me. It's now been 13 weeks of you staring, and I'm about to snap because I'm starting to think every time I turn my head to the right, you will always be there staring. No matter the place, no matter the time.

Chicago, IL

Video Watching

I was walking by your computer when I stopped to watch the video you were watching. I forgot that peering over a random person's shoulder isn't socially acceptable, yet I stayed until you saw my reflection in the screen and turned around to see me running away.

Chicago, IL

Slurpie

You sit in front of me and all I see is dandruff on your dirty clothes. Every 3 minutes all I hear is the sound of you slurping up and swallowing the spit you've accumulated in your mouth because you have a cold and have to breathe with your mouth open the whole time.

Chicago, IL

Professor McBelly-Cave

Stop wearing skin-tight shirts please. You teach a class of 100 people, and we can all see your giant belly-button. No joke, I could easily fit a baseball inside that stomach cave.

East Lansing, MI

Skype Creeper

I was video skyping my Mom when she asked who my friend was behind me peering over my shoulder. Not only are you so fucking creepy, but you are NOT my friend--you're a 40-year old man who works at my school.

Chicago, IL

Cold Teacher

My accounting teacher has the biggest, saggy boobs ever. She was nipping the entire time, and I could not look away. It was like staring at a train wreck for an hour.

St. Louis, MO

Loud Breather

During the test, all I could hear was your inhumane heavy breathing. You know it's bad when our teacher even asks you to breathe softer because you're ruining everyone's concentration. Get that shit checked out.

Chicago, IL

Classroom Monitor

I never come to class except when there's an exam, so when you tell me that you never see me in class anymore and I have no fucking clue who you are -- that creeps me out.

Chicago, IL

No Words Can Explain

This day will forever haunt me. I was sitting in class and earnestly trying not to pay attention to anything our professor had to say. I successfully made it through, but as I was about to leave, I glanced over at the wrong moment. As you got up and stretched, your shirt started to rise and I saw that you had "tucked" up your dick and the top was poking out. Our teacher is a 75 year old man and you sit at the front of the room. What is wrong with you???

Omaha, NE

My Teacher's Costume

There's nothing like seeing your teacher outside of class. Especially when I saw him at the costume store looking at a slutty nurse outfit. Looks like I'll be getting an A in that class. Cell phone pictures = the best.

Indianapolis, IN

Girl Outside My Bio Class

I just met you, but I always see you outside of my bio class when it's done. When I brought this to your attention you didn't think it was as ironic as I did. Your response: "Oh, it's cause I know your schedule." Excuse me, what?

Denver, CO

Red Line Sleeper

It looked like you were coming back from what looks like a respectable corporate job. All that respect went out the window when you feel asleep on me. A grown ass man should not be needing an afternoon nap on a college kid.

Chicago, IL

Couple in My English Class

Stop making out and cuddling before class. It's so fucking annoying, and it's no surprise you 2 uggos found each other. Even the teacher stopped and stared with a look of disgust as he walked in.

Chicago, IL